there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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