If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize