I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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