love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize