Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
