pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
