Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
