i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Hippo gnu deer
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I wear drunk well.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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