she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize