So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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