I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
