she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
