wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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