so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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