That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
