Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize
