why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
