i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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