I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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