Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
