You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize