Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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