redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
