Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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