We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
