it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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