our cab driver is having phone sex.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
