I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
