By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
how drunk are you?
Several
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
