in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize