We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
