My hand turned me down
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I am one with the molecules
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
