So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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