No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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