Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
