I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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