I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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