1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
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