She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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