how do flat chested girls get laid?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
