She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
