Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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