What a fucking waste of an outfit
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
