look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
