I think scott just propositioned me for sex
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
