just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
