I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize