we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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