Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
