their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
