Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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