just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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