So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
