At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
