i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
