Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
