So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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