Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
