My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Are we still banned from the library?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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