yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
